Rosalina: Oh, Mario, I'm so excited to be going on our honeymoon!
Mario: Yeah, I can't wait to go either. Wait, wait, wait. What time's our flight takeoff?
Rosalina: Oh, I think it leaves soon.
Mario: We should probably get going.
Black Yoshi: Ooh, folk, Mario Man!
Look what I spent my food stamps on. I got me some KFC chicken's, and some Kool-Aid.
(Making raspberry noise)
Watchu doin folk?
Mario: Oh, hey, Black Yoshi. Me and Rosalina are about to go on our honeymoon!
Black Yoshi: A honey's moon?
Rosalina: Mario, we have to go. I don't want to miss our flight.
Black Yoshi: What about your stupid retarded kid, you taking him with you?
Mario: You mean Jeffy?
Black Yoshi: Yeah.
Rosalina: Where is Jeffy?
Mario: Oh, I got him a babysitter.
Jeffy: Man, Daddy really sucks at Hide and Seek.
Rosalina: Did you get him a good babysitter?
Mario: Yeah, yeah, the best babysitter you could buy.
Black Yoshi: Ay, Mario, real quick. Before you leave, do you think you can give me the remote's controls?
-I'm trying to watch me some TV's.
Mario: Uh, the remote? :|
-I-I don't know where it is. I don't have time for this. Uh... Oh, there it is. Here you go, buddy.
- Mario, we have to go now. Will you get my luggage for me?
-Yeah, sure. I'll get it.
-Thank you!
-I mean, you could have got at least one of them. Alright, Black Yoshi, I'll see you later.
-Alright, I see you later, folk. Bout' to watch me some TV's.
-What does she have in this? (Grunting with effort)
Uhhh, Jesus Christ... (Grunting in effort)
-Alright, Black Yoshi, I'll see you later. Oh... Jesus...
(announcer) (Logan) -YOU GET TO GET CALL OF DUTY WWII!
-THE SPECIAL EDITION PLAYSTATION 4 CONSOLE!
-IT'S OUT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
(plane engines)
(Shuddering)
Rosalina: Mario, are you okay?
Mario: Yeah. I'm fine. I just get really nervous about flying.
Rosalina: Oh, Mario, there's nothing to be afraid of.
Black Yoshi: MARIO PLEEEAASEEEE!!!!
(breaking news theme plays)
Mr. Goodman: Breaking news, m'kay. A commercial airplane has had to make an emergency landing,
because a black man was holding on to the window screaming, "Mario, please." More on the story as it develops.
Mario: Well, that's just great, Black Yoshi!
Now, we had to postpone our honeymoon,
because there's an emergency landing on the plane, cause you're hanging onto the window!
Black Yoshi: But Mario! It's the new Call of Duty's WWII with the map packs and the special edition's console!
-And Mario, I please need it!! Please!!!!!!! Buy it for me. Please!
-Black Yoshi, I'm not buying you the new Call of Duty. It's every year with you. It's-
-(Imitating Black Yoshi) "Oh, Mario, can you buy me the map packs?
can you buy me the special edition console?"
-(Normal voice) No, Black Yoshi! I'm not buying it for you anymore! You had a year to save the money!
You knew this game was coming out before a year! You had a year to get the money!
But Mario! You had a year to give me the money.
[choking himself]
Mario, Mario calm down. You know you have high blood pressure.
You're right. I have to breathe. You're right.
(crying) I'm gonna go unpack my suitcase.
Oh, okay.
So Mario real quick, are you gonna give me the money or not?
NO, BLACK YOSHI! I'M NOT GONNA GIVE YOU THE MONEY! I'M NOT BUYING YOU THE GAME! How do you not understand this?!
I will never, ever, buy you another Call Of Duty ever again!
You made me lose out of my honeymoon, because you're an idiot and you're selfish and you're greedy!
I'm not buying you the new game! How do you not understand that?
Mario, come on, man. Stop with the running around fo
me. Are you gonna give me the game or not? If you're gonna give me the game, you get me the game.
But if you not, then you need to be straight up with me and tell me, folk.
NO!!!! I'M NOT BUYING YOU THE GAME!!!!!!
Mario, man, if you all you gotta do is say no, if you don't want to get it for maybe straight up.
HHFFHUHDIUHFODUHDHHHFUHIUFHIUHIUFH!!!! OH, JESUS CRIST!
NO, I'M NOT BUYING YOU THE-- Black Yoshi, how about this?
I'm not gonna waste my breath anymore.
If you want the game,
why don't you sell all your old games, huh? You have all those old Call of Duty's. Why are you gonna sell them
at the game store.
And then you have enough money to buy the new one? Because I'm done. I'm not buying you the game!
So was that a yes or a no?
Hey, sir, what can I do for you today? Did you add a new COD: World War II special
-Edition Console? Uhhhhh, you mean this thing? YEAH, how much is it? That's...
$499.99
$499.99? I don't got that much, but I got these games I wanna trade in doe?
Well, how much are you looking to get for them? OOO, about $600!?
...Well, I can tell you right now
-you're not gonna get that much but I can take a look at what you got.
Let's see... Call Of Duty: Ghosts, all right not bad. Wh-There's no game in here. Yeah. Yeah, it is right there
See it? No I don't see it...
Man...It's cuz it's a ghost, it's the "Call Of Duty: Ghosts" The ones that go like boo? Ghosts like boo?
I can't give you anything for this. There's no game in there. What about like 150, 125?
Let's just let's just move on!
Call Of Duty: Advanced Warfare? Ok, let's think alright, so this game is broken. No man, I just played it a lot!
It's not broken...Yeah, you played it so much that it broke in half....
No, that's just wear and tear, to have... WEAR AND TEAR, LOOK AT IT!
-It's in pieces like I can't give you anything for any of these games. Alright, so about 200 for that one?
No, I can't give you anything .
But, man! I need the new COD!
Look, how about I just give you $2 because I feel sorry for you, okay?
How about we add a zero to that make it $20? Okay? That's $20 and still no.
I can't give it to you unless you have the money. Okay. I'm sorry.
How, about how about, you loan me the system and when I get my wellfair check -
I'll come back to pay you !No, if you have the money then fine, okay, but but until then I can't give you anything.
Mannn. I can't believe GameStop wouldn't give me no money for all games.
Bi- They tripping foe!
Those games where mister dishes, now how am I gonna get that money for the new Call Of Duty WWII PlayStation 4 limited edition?
I could take a' credit card from Mario's wallet!
Yeah, he owe me that money anyway.
Yeah, that's what i'm gonna do!
Almost done making my sandwich. Yeah, it's a little bit more mayonnaise. I love mayonnaise. Oh, yeah a lot more mayonnaise ah it's more
Yeah more mayonnaise. Oh yeah, no I like the mayonnaise. Oh yeah, more mayonnaise!
All right, I'm back! I'm ready to buy me the console. Did you actually bring money this time...Yeah,
-I got me a credit card. Okay. Let me see the card.
This is an Applebee's gift card...
Yeah, okay...
-And this is not an Applebee's. So what that mean? That means you can't use the card here because this isn't in Applebee's
But there's money on the card! It doesn't matter if there's money on the card because you can only spend that money at Applebee's
No, there's money on the card. I'll use that money anywhere
I want. No, no that's not how that works, a gift card means: you can only spend the money at the restaurant
Well, I did spend the money at the restaurant and had $50 left on the card.
I got me some hot wings, $15, now the $35 less on the car. Okay. There's only $35 on the card?
Yeah, okay, then you can't even afford the console, you wanted! I want to put that money towards the console
Oh, plus the extra controller!
And XBOX Live! XBOX LIVE, it's a PS4...and it doesn't even matter because you can't use a gift card to buy stuff here
They don't make no sense, it has money on the card, and I want to use tha- OK
I will swipe your god damn card!
What? Wow. it actually went through? All right, so uh console, extra controller and XBOX Live?
No, you won't you still only had $35 on it?
So you can't get all that, but there's money on the card...
And then it doesn't matter there's only $35 on the card, and that's that's way more.
But I want to put that money towards console. That's what I'm gonna do. That doesn't matter, you still can't afford it
Just just come back when you have an actual credit card okay, Man. All right?
Okay and some more mayonnaise. Yeah, just a little bit more mayonnaise just a little bit enough to taste it.
You know I like a lot of mayonnaise, but you know not too much, mayonnaise.
Just enough to taste it!
I'm backa nd I got me's a real credit card! Is it Applebee's? NO. Chili's? NO. What about Subway? NO! Alright,
I'll have a look at it then. Oh, It's a real card.
Mario Mario, that's you? Yeah, that's me! Can I need to see some ID though?
ID? Well, you know ID is like an identification card that shows who you are.
Why? To show that you didn't steal this card? Oh, I didn't steal this card! That's my card!
It have my name on it as well. That's fine, but I'm still gonna need some ID.
ID? Oh!
I left it in the car. I'll be right back. Okay. All right. I got my ID! Oh, you do! Yeah...
Okay, that looks like it was drawn in crayon...You see the lady didn't tell me when she was taking my picture
I was having a bad day...OKAY.
No, I meant like the whole thing looks like it was written in crayon on a piece of paper.
Well, my hair ride made that good...OKAY?
Yeah...
I don't think this is a real ID! Man, get off my back!You want let me use my Applebee's giftcard.
You won't even let me use my own credit
You know what, f#ck it! Here you go!
*GASP*
THE NEW COD: WWII SPECIAL EDITION!
*KISSES* I can not wait,
to play you when I get home! Oh, you forgot your card, it's not even his...
OH, FOE MAN!
I'm so excited! I got the new
COD: WWII, PlayStation 4, I am so excited to play right now! Mario: BLACK YOSHI!!!
Ohhh, shoot! Mario is coming, I gotta hide this.
Black Yoshi! What's up foe?
What are you doing? Uh,
eating me some chickens? Alright, Black Yoshi, I got a call for my credit card company, saying -"I got a charge at gamestop today, for
$499.99!" Plus tax...PLUS TAX. And, I wasn't at gamestop so somebody stole my card...
Do you know anything about this? No, Mario? I mean you know,
I have been eating me some chickens...Really? A-hmm!
Move this bucket, Black Yoshi. You hungry for some chickens?
MOVE THE BUCKET, BLACK YOSHI!
So, Black Yoshi! Where did that PS4 come from?
*gasps*
MARIO!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME FOE!
I CANT BELIEVE YOU GOT ME THE NEW PLAY STATION 4, ON MY BIRTHDAY - BEST BIRTHDAY EVER FOE, YOU SHOULDNT HAVE
BLACK YOSHI, IT'S NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY!
It's my Birthday!
Happy birthday to me! Black Yoshi,
you stole my credit card
-And you went and bought that PS4! No I didn't. Then where did the PS4 come from?
You gave it to me for my birthday Mario, don't you remember? BLACK YOSHI, NO I DIDN'T! It's not your birthday! You know what, fine...
I'm just gonna return it, because if I did buy it then I can return it, if I want too!
So, I'm gonna return it.
NO, MARIO! PLEEAASSEEE! This is the worst birthday
ever if y- IT'S NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY! Yes,
it is!
Mario, please don't return the COD, I needz it!
SHUT UP, BLACK YOSHI! Ummm, can I help you sir?
Oh, yes, sorry sir for bothering you, but did you sell this console to him. Yeah! Okay,
We'll you see there was a big mistake. See what happened was he stole my credit card and used it without permission
Oh, yeah.
I thought something was kind of weird when he gave me this ID that was drawn in crayon. You gave it to him using that!?
Well, he gave me an Applebee's gift card earlier!
B-Black Yoshi, you stole my Applebee's gift card!?
I WAS HUNGRY...
Oh, it's just been a really long day. Oh, okay, sir. This is what I want
I just want a refund onto my card. I want all my money back, so I just wanna return this yeah, okay?
Well, if everything's in there there shouldn't be a problem. Oh, yeah, well. We haven't opened it so everything should be in there
see yeah, we
Okay, all right. We got the game. Oh, okay got the game, right that's good and we got the controller
okay, got the controller that seems fine, so we just need the console...Here and
What did I just pull out? I don't know, but there's nothing in here. Where's the console?
Are you sure the console isn't in there, I thought otherwise I don't know what was that
I'm not sure it should have been in there. Well if I don't have the console,
can you still give me a return? No, if there's no console? I can't give you a refund...WELL
-where is it at? It has to be in there, we haven't opened it.
Look, we got the game, controller and t- AND NOTHING ELSE...I don't see it sorry. If I can't see it,
I can't give you a refund. But, t-the console has to be in there. Well. What's the box look like?
No, I don't see a picture.There's just a controller on the box. Yeah. Do you guys have the XBOX ONE X?